The story of Keira Jane Olson's birth and delivery

Thank goodness for Pooja. Without her, the birth of our third child may have been rather uneventful.

At 5:30am on Tuesday, October 21, 2008, Nicole and I were awakened by a phone call from Evanston Hospital. “If you can be here by 8am,” the nurse on the other line said, “we can induce your labor today.” The baby’s due date had been the previous Friday (Oct 17), but she had not been born. Nicole had called the hospital to ask if an induction could be scheduled. “We’ll call if we have an opening,” they had said. Well, here was the opening.

We tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. We tossed and turned until 7am, when we finally rolled (Nicole literally) out of bed. We got dressed and headed out the front door.

The hospital is only a ten minute walk from our house, so we decided to go by foot. It seemed kind of weird to be walking so casually to the hospital, given that the birth’s of our first two children were so exciting. We arrived a little after eight, and the nurse (Vicky) set us up in a room. Nicole was smiling and chatting pleasantly. She did not look like a woman who was about to give birth.

The first thing we learned is that women who are not in labor are not a priority for the hospital staff. After Vicky helped Nicole get into a hospital gown, she disappeared for thirty minutes. When she finally reappeared, she inserted Nicole’s IV and asked about a million questions about her medical history. Medically, Nicole is a pretty boring person, as she has no allergies, no surgical history, no family illnesses, and takes no prescription drugs. I have to admit: at this point, I was actually bored.

Nicole took a nap until 9:30am. I dozed in a really uncomfortable chair, wondering when breakfast was going to be served. At 9:30am, the door opened and 2 residents walked in. I perked right up, as it was obvious that things were finally going to get interesting.

The first resident (Greg; he was actually a third year medical student) was just a normal every day Joe. Pretty easy going, seemed to be right in his zone. The second resident, on the other hand, was something straight out of High School Musical 3. She was about 5 feet 4 inches tall, really tiny, and had thick, curly, jet-black hair. Her name was Pooja (Poo-ya). She had about 5 gallons of makeup on. She proceeded to play doctor with Nicole, asking all the same questions Vicky had already asked, and more. My favorite question was, “Do you have any pets?” Undoubtedly the question was spurred by some PETA lobbyist in Washington. So anyway, Pooja stopped interrogating Nicole at 9:50a. If you’re wondering how I have such exact times of events, it’s because I had a notebook and was keeping track. At least it gave me something to do.

At 9:55a, Pooja looked a bit confused and left the room. She returned moments later with another OB resident, and told Nicole they wanted to check the positioning of the baby. Pooja starts giving Nicole some ancient-looking massage on her belly (trust me, this was not something she learned in medical school). After a few minutes, Pooja left the room again and came back with another OB resident. This was getting almost comical. They fumbled around Nicole’s belly for a few minutes before proclaiming that everything was all right. I still don’t know what was going on. Everything looked fine to me.

When they leave the room, I can’t help but start laughing at what I just witnessed. Nicole told me to stop making fun of Pooja. I was sad Pooja left, because now I was bored again.

At 10:15, Vicky comes back and starts the inducement drug through the IV. Oh, I must have forgotten to mention that while the IV had been inserted hours earlier, the drugs hadn’t been started because we were waiting for the okay from the OB physician. So finally Nicole gets the inducement drug, and she decides to take another nap. With nothing else going on, I went home for an early lunch and to get the kids and Grandma (Nicole’s mom was in town to help with the new baby).

We got back to the hospital at noon, and Nicole was up from her nap. Still no pains, no contractions, nothing. The kids had fun, though. They were bouncing off the walls, jumping on the bed, just hanging out with mom. I still can’t believe that 3 hours later the baby would be born…this was nothing like the first two.

At 1p, Nicole received news that the anesthesiologist was going to be busy later in the afternoon, and that if she wanted an epidural, she needed to get it now. Without hesitation, Nicole agreed to have it right away. So the nurse called for the anesthesiologist. A few minutes later, this man comes walking through the door and, well, the only way I can describe him is that he looked just like the quirky, google-eyed scientist from Disney’s Atlantis. The anesthesiologist is this old, bent over man literally wearing magnifying glasses over both eyes and a tight bandana on his head. I mean, this guy was my hero. He had no shame. Seriously, he was totally awesome. After asking Nicole the same million questions again, he said, “Now, I am required to tell you that you may die as a result of what I am about to do. Are you sure you would like an epidural?” It was funny to watch Nicole’s reaction. Usually, by this point in her delivery, Nicole is in so much pain from contractions that she just screams at the doctor to stick the needle in. But this time, since there was no pain, she hesitated for just a millisecond. But soon the anesthesiologist was sticking a big needle in the small of her back, and Nicole went completely numb. That was the most pain she felt during the entire ordeal.

Grandma and the kids left, and I was back to sitting in my boring chair. Fortunately, I had some finance homework with me, so I started studying. I looked up briefly at 1:30 as Pooja walked in unexpectedly. She looked around suspiciously, then left.

At 1:40p, Pooja and Greg return. They study the heartbeat monitor on the wall and determine that Nicole has been having contractions (Nicole can’t feel them). They decide it is time to break her water. Pooja tries first, and has no luck. Greg is a medical student, so he just stands by and observes. At this point, I’m tempted to ask Pooja if she would like some help, but I decide it’s more fun to see this all play out. She leaves and returns a few minutes later with another resident who is able to break the water. It is at this time that I realize we have been in the hospital for nearly 6 hours now and have yet to see a physician…

With Nicole’s water broken, everyone leaves the room (except for me, of course). An hour later, at 2:15p, Vicky comes to check on Nicole. Nicole is on no pain, but tells Vicki she is having the urge to push. Vicky says she will be back shortly. At 2:40p, the whole entourage arrives: Dr. Lorehke (the OB), Greg (resident #1), Pooja (does she need an introduction?), Vicky, and one of Dr. Lorehke’s office staff who wants to “observe” the birth. (Nicole gives permission, but what else is she going to do??)

So with what seemed like a circus on hand, Nicole started to push at approximately 2:55p. A mere six minutes later, the baby’s head was out. To my dismay, Pooja stepped in to “help” the baby on its way out. Now, I’m no pro at delivering babies, but it seems to me that grabbing the baby’s head and pulling on it is not the best way to get the thing out. I felt like I was in some horror show. Pooja just kept tugging and wrenching. At any moment, I half expected her to climb atop Nicole’s belly and start jumping up and down. Fortunately, after what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Lorehke pushed Pooja aside, and with one quick up and down movement, she pulled Keira Jane from the womb and we had our beautiful, new baby girl, born at 3:04pm on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 and weighing in at 6lbs. 130z. and 19 3/4 inches long. What a blessing, what an experience!

Disclaimer: Pooja really was a nice person, I feel kinda bad for making her the punch line of our experience, but the whole thing was just too funny to pass up. She is going to make a great OB for a lot of women!